We can’t selectively numb emotion.
Numb the dark and you numb the light.
~ Brene Brown
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‘Overgrowth’ by Parker Fitzgerald and Riley Messina
I’m back from a wonderful visit with my dear friend, Jill. As ever, our time together was a multi-layered treasure trove of sharing, compassion, love, delight, laughter, mutual support, discovery and the magic and deliciousness that life-long friendships provide that just can’t be captured in words.
In a recent post I shared some wisdom from Brene’ Brown. During one of our chats, Jill pointed me to her parenting mantifesto. I had never seen or heard of it before. As we sat at my kitchen table, sipping tea, I read the manifesto allowed. The words seem to rise up from the screen and fill our space. They moved me to tears, touching me so deeply. I’ve included the manifesto below. If you want to print out a free poster of it, click here.
Truly, from my heart to yours, I want this for us all!
The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto
Above all else, I want you to know that you are loved and lovable. You will learn this from my words and actions–the lessons on love are in how I treat you and how I treat myself.
I want you to engage with the world from a place of worthiness. You will learn that you are worthy of love, belonging, and joy every time you see me practice self-compassion and embrace my own imperfections.
We will practice courage in our family by showing up, letting ourselves be seen, and honoring vulnerability. We will share our stories of struggle and strength. There will always be room in our home for both.
We will teach you compassion by practicing compassion with ourselves first; then with each other. We will set and respect boundaries; we will honor hard work, hope, and perseverance. Rest and play will be family values, as well as family practices.
You will learn accountability and respect by watching me make mistakes and make amends, and by watching how I ask for what I need and talk about how I feel.
I want you to know joy, so together we will practice gratitude.
I want you to feel joy, so together we will learn how to be vulnerable.
When uncertainty and scarcity visit, you will be able to draw from the spirit that is a part of our everyday life.
Together we will cry and face fear and grief. I will want to take away your pain, but instead I will sit with you and teach you how to feel it.
We will laugh and sing and dance and create. We will always have permission to be ourselves with each other. No matter what, you will always belong here.
As you begin your Wholehearted journey, the greatest gift that I can give to you is to live and love with my whole heart and to dare greatly.
I will not teach or love or show you anything perfectly, but I will let you see me, and I will always hold sacred the gift of seeing you. Truly, deeply, seeing you.
Swan image found on Pinterest
It takes great courage to face who we’ve been…how we’ve been…what we’ve done and said, or not done and not said…all the while having great compassion and love for ourselves. To look with gentle eyes. To forgive ourselves our past. To be bold enough to let it all go so that we can see who we truly are. Not only does it take courage, it takes commitment, discipline and tenacity. And the willingness just to begin.
Looking for a way to get started? Brene’ Brown, the author of the quote above, has given a couple of Ted Talks you may enjoy. My first exposure to her work was the talk she gave on vulnerability. If you’d like to listen you can do so for free on the Ted Talks website. She’s also doing work with Oprah and has a new book out called Daring Greatly.
Opening to greater awareness…exploring Self…this is the work of a lifetime. I applaud all who take it on. You have my honor and blessings.
Photo Credit: Moon over Marginal Way by Robin Keus
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