Month: October 2014

Wise Words: Quiet

quiet    [kwahy-it]
1. making no noise or sound, especially no disturbing sound
2. free, or comparatively free, from noise
3. silent
4. free from disturbance or tumult; tranquil; peaceful
5. being at rest
6. refraining or free from activity, especially busy or vigorous activity

Small word, big impact.


“Remember, all the answers you need are inside of you;
you only have to become quiet enough to hear them.”
~ Debbie Ford

Recently, I was with the little boy for whom I sometimes nanny. He’s 1. Late in the morning, he was giving all the usual signals that he was ready for a nap. We went upstairs to read a book and begin to quiet down from our morning of giggling and play. His readiness signals continued but he was also doing lots of things to resist:  squirming, muttering, flopping onto his belly for a quick second of stillness, then sitting up again, staring into space then re-engaging the book.

I stayed quiet and calm, letting him lead the way. I rubbed his back when he was still, waiting for his need to rest to overtake the momentum of activity. Eventually he flopped up against me. We took some deep breaths together (yes, I taught a one year old to do deep, conscious breathing…it is a thing of beauty to behold) and within a minute or two came that sweet moment of surrender. He allowed himself to settle into quiet and stillness and then sleep.

Know the feeling?

We live in a world with intense energies, constant noise and the seduction of distraction every which way we turn. It takes great awareness and discipline to stop resisting the need for rest, quiet and stillness, like my little friend, and surrender into connecting with self.

It’s so simple. But for many it’s not necessarily easy. Deep conscious breaths are the quickest way to achieve this connection. Allowing the space and time for stillness and quiet. Turning inward. Allowing insight. Coming back to center when things feel topsy turvy. Letting your mind, body and spirit catch up to shifts and changes.

The cultural norm, at least in the U.S., is to work…go…do. A strong work ethic is highly valued and rarely questioned. For many, needing or wanting rest still equates to weakness or laziness. Sometimes it’s not even a conscious thought, but lives as judgment in the unconscious. It is wielded both inwardly at oneself and externally at others.

Seems to me it’s time for a new norm. There is so much power in silence, so much potential in the space of stillness. Just 10 minutes out of your day. Nothing to DO. Just BEing. Breathing. Feeling and sensing. Allowing your energies to flow. Allowing the focus to be inward. Not chasing down thoughts. Not resisting. Not pushing. Just awareness and noticing.

I wonder what’s possible…I wonder what will show up…I wonder what wants to be released…I wonder what’s there to be received. Don’t you?

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Just as I finished writing this post, I came across something on Facebook that resonated and seemed relevant to this post. I felt it deeply upon reading it, as did a few of my friends. Some of us were even moved to tears. It reminded me of a significant and transitional time in my life. After closing my shop and dealing with all the physical and logistical aspects that were required of me, I experienced months of hearing a loud and compelling voice from deep within, imploring and insisting that I rest. Apparently, for that period of time, my “work” was to rest. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. For what is honored and valued in my family is work…and doing…and I was being asked by the grander part of me to rest…and be. I KNEW that I had to cultivate both the discipline and the courage to honor what was true and pure at my very core…and trust that it must be the right thing for me. It has paid off in spades…led to places I could not have imagined…worth every bit of challenge it required me to face!

The person who posted this credited it to Jeff Foster. Does this resonate with you?

SACRED EXHAUSTION
Your tiredness has dignity to it!
Do not rush to pathologise it, or push it away, for it may contain great intelligence, even medicine.
You have been on a long journey from the stars, friend.
Bow before your tiredness now; do not fight it any longer.
There is no shame in admitting that you cannot go on.
Even the courageous need to rest.
For a great journey lies ahead.
And you will need all of your resources.
Come, sit by the fire of Presence.
Let the body unwind; drop into the silence here.
Forget about tomorrow, let go of the journey to come, and sink into this evening’s warmth.
Every great adventure is fuelled by rest at its heart.
Your tiredness is noble, friend, and contains healing power… if you would only listen.

 

Lavendar Sunset_Tom Seliskar
Photo Credit – Header:  Samantha Martinez
Photo Credit – Footer:  Tom Seliskar

 

 

 

 

 

Wholehearted

I’m back from a wonderful visit with my dear friend, Jill. As ever, our time together was a multi-layered treasure trove of sharing, compassion, love, delight, laughter, mutual support, discovery and the magic and deliciousness that life-long friendships provide that just can’t be captured in words.

In a recent post I shared some wisdom from Brene’ Brown. During one of our chats, Jill pointed me to her parenting mantifesto. I had never seen or heard of it before. As we sat at my kitchen table, sipping tea, I read the manifesto allowed. The words seem to rise up from the screen and fill our space. They moved me to tears, touching me so deeply. I’ve included the manifesto below. If you want to print out a free poster of it, click here.

Truly, from my heart to yours, I want this for us all!

parenting manifesto

The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto

Above all else, I want you to know that you are loved and lovable. You will learn this from my words and actions–the lessons on love are in how I treat you and how I treat myself.
I want you to engage with the world from a place of worthiness. You will learn that you are worthy of love, belonging, and joy every time you see me practice self-compassion and embrace my own imperfections.
We will practice courage in our family by showing up, letting ourselves be seen, and honoring vulnerability. We will share our stories of struggle and strength. There will always be room in our home for both.
We will teach you compassion by practicing compassion with ourselves first; then with each other. We will set and respect boundaries; we will honor hard work, hope, and perseverance. Rest and play will be family values, as well as family practices.
You will learn accountability and respect by watching me make mistakes and make amends, and by watching how I ask for what I need and talk about how I feel.
I want you to know joy, so together we will practice gratitude.
I want you to feel joy, so together we will learn how to be vulnerable.
When uncertainty and scarcity visit, you will be able to draw from the spirit that is a part of our everyday life.
Together we will cry and face fear and grief. I will want to take away your pain, but instead I will sit with you and teach you how to feel it.
We will laugh and sing and dance and create. We will always have permission to be ourselves with each other. No matter what, you will always belong here.
As you begin your Wholehearted journey, the greatest gift that I can give to you is to live and love with my whole heart and to dare greatly.
I will not teach or love or show you anything perfectly, but I will let you see me, and I will always hold sacred the gift of seeing you. Truly, deeply, seeing you.

 

Swan image found on Pinterest

Friends

friendship
Anais Nin put it beautifully when she said, “Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” Tomorrow one of my oldest and dearest friends arrives for a visit. I always relish the opportunity for a visit, a chance to connect and share with someone who has known me so long and knows me so well. A real gift.

So I’ll be taking a short break from posting. I hope you enjoy the autumn days ahead with your friends and family. I know I will.

Photo Credit: Peter Stackpole
Images found on Pinterest

Be inspired: 10.20.14


story

It takes great courage to face who we’ve been…how we’ve been…what we’ve done and said, or not done and not said…all the while having great compassion and love for ourselves. To look with gentle eyes. To forgive ourselves our past. To be bold enough to let it all go so that we can see who we truly are. Not only does it take courage, it takes commitment, discipline and tenacity. And the willingness just to begin.

Looking for a way to get started? Brene’ Brown, the author of the quote above, has given a couple of Ted Talks you may enjoy. My first exposure to her work was the talk she gave on vulnerability. If you’d like to listen you can do so for free on the Ted Talks website. She’s also doing work with Oprah and has a new book out called Daring Greatly.

Opening to greater awareness…exploring Self…this is the work of a lifetime. I applaud all who take it on. You have my honor and blessings.

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Photo Credit:  Moon over Marginal Way by Robin Keus
Image found on Pinterest

Wise Words: Root Causes

This week’s Friday Focus is about getting at the root causes of obstacles keeping you from being who you truly are and having the life you truly want. Once we’re motivated to look within, it’s important to have the support and resources to do the work. Enter the divine Carla Berg.

She is the author of the book/card set called Divine Demons: Reclaiming the Power of Your Destiny. Carla is another one who has done the work and in so doing created tools to support herself and others, many of which are free on her website at www.divinepotentials.com.

“I’ll admit, I wrote and used them out of sheer desperation. I needed the insights and inspiration they hold to get me through the darkest moments…”

According to her, it is common that these obstacles originate from past experiences, relationships, and authority figures, showing up in the form of fears, doubts and limiting beliefs. She has a deep and abiding passion for digging down to the root causes of things that hold us back in life – especially fears and doubts.  She talks openly and honestly about her experiences on her path of self-discovery on her website.

“…in the process, [I] broke down old belief systems about worthiness, lack, failure, powerlessness, rejection, and self-doubt. I found strength and courage I never knew I had, and most importantly, I gained a level of trust and compassion that will carry me through life.

It is my sincere belief that we all have greatness in us and that if we follow our passions, we will find it. Not only that, if every human followed their passions, we could create heaven on earth for all.”

Carla’s book/card set is for sale on her website. She also does individual sessions. They are powerful and transformative. I know from personal experience. Thank you Carla!

If you’re interested in getting at the root causes of things you’re facing, I encourage you to use these cards. It’s an easy way to get started on your own work. Insights are just a click or two away at www.divinepotentials.com. For other resources, click here.

roots

Photo by Tom Seliskar

Header image found on Pinterest